June 25, 2017

The day I found out I was pregnant

The day I found out I was pregnant

It was 7am when I was sitting on the toilet doing my, well, morning wee. Josh was in front of me brushing his teeth in our too-small-for-four-people bathroom. I had expected my period to arrive this morning and it took me a few seconds to realise (mid wee) that it wasn’t here. I stopped mid-stream, held it in as though I was practicing my pelvic floor exercises and reached forward in to the cupboard to grab one last remaining pregnancy test I knew that I had……

Six Days earlier:

I booked into my doctor (ok, not my doctor, a second option doctor) to find out why I have had mild cramping for almost two weeks, starting from the day I ovulated. This doctor, spoke a lot about my anxiety and thought it was best that I take something to help me with the fact that I think something bad is happening to me all the time, although, I really did have these pains! Just like the other doctor, she did say I could be pregnant and to take a pregnancy test. So, the outcome from two doctors’ visits is that, the ovulation pain is what it is, and for me this month, it has lasted longer than usual. I could be pregnant or I could just be very anxious.

I took a pregnancy test, negative. Obviously, I am anxious of the pain and just pray that it goes away after my period.

I bought a 3-pack pregnancy test kit that tells you that you can test from 6 days before your period. The first test at six days before was negative.

Five Days Earlier:

I have this really dry mouth, nothing I can do is quenching my thirst or taking away this cotton mouth. I noticed it last week but didn’t think much of it. I google dry mouth symptoms “Pregnancy” aha! This dry mouth lasted several more days, I took a pregnancy test, negative. I took one the next day also, negative.  Maybe I should change my diet or something.

Three Days earlier:

Owch! My nipples are so pointy, my boobs are achy and sore under my arm pit. But I am not pregnant apparently, the tests would have appeared positive by now if I was. I took of my top and my bra and looked at my boobs in the mirror. I walked out into the lounge room and showed Josh my big perky boobs. Before he had a chance to finish that increasing smile that was appearing on his face, I said to him “I have to be pregnant! I am going out to buy a pregnancy test.” I walked straight passed him, put my top on and ran out the door. I bought another 3-pack, took two tests, and both negative. OK maybe my period is coming.

It was by this stage that I accepted that I wasn’t pregnant this month and put all the symptoms down to my period being due and maybe just being over anxious about my health. I carried on and waited for my period to arrive.

We had been trying to conceive on and off for a year and a bit, to be honest, it was taking so long because we were trying for a girl. We tried the sex before ovulation theory and it seems (and I now know) I was ovulating later that I thought, so we were doing it too early before ovulation. We went by the Chinese calendar girl months and this meant skipping some months of trying and it was this month that we decided to stop trying for a girl and just try for a baby because as time went on so did our chances of conceiving naturally. Whatever we were going to be blessed with is what we were meant to have. We wanted a third child and we accepted to put this in God’s hands. Besides, I like the idea of three boys more than two so either way, we were ready for a third.

The day I found out I was pregnant continued…

I unwrapped that pregnancy test that morning, whilst carefully holding my wee in with my not-so-strong pelvic muscles. I put it under the stream and then sat there on the toilet waiting to see if my last chance of getting a line would appear.

A few seconds or so later the control line appeared and for what felt like five minutes, a very faint second line appeared. It was really faint but from my experience, I know you can’t fake a second line. It was still super faint, I had to rub my eyes for a second and then I tapped Josh on the back and I asked him “Is this a second line?” and he replied, “yeah probably, looks like it” as though he didn’t realise what was actually happening!

I kept repeating “oh shit, oh no, oh no, oh no”

In that moment, I got scared. Reality set in and everything I wanted for so long was happening but my emotions reacted in a way that I didn’t expect. I started to think about school fees, how I would juggle three kids, the sleepless nights, the work life juggle again, my body, my sickness and then again back at the school fees!

“I am pregnant, Josh.” I said.

He was happy, a smile lit up his face, I waited for an “oh crap” but he didn’t say anything, he was just happy. I tried to soak up his emotions for myself but all I could think of was “oh crap, I am pregnant from this moment and things need to change for me.”

I took the kids to school and child care and when I got home, I ran down to the Pharmacy. I was home, there and back again in about six minutes. As I was running home, I was hoping I had enough wee left to pee on. I bought a three pack, as you do.

I knew that if these came back positive, then it was really real. I pee’d on the sick. Positive. Positive. Positive.

I sat there for a second to soak it all up. I reminded myself that this is what I wanted and how lucky I am to fall pregnant. It took me a couple more minutes to get excited, and I did.

Not long after, I did some quick calculating and looking at my phone calendar to see when I would have conceived. According to my calculations, we only did ‘it’ once and it was three days before I was ‘supposed to’ ovulate (I now know that I did not ovulate around this time and that I, we, infact ‘did’ it twice that month). “I’m so having a girl” I thought to myself. Oh M G! I am pregnant! I called up Josh to tell him it is confirmed, I called up my bestie to tell her the news (we have been tracking my period, sex and ovulation since the moment I decided to have a third).

My next call was to my obstetrician’s rooms, you have to get in quick before he gets too many patients at that same due time. I booked in my first appointment with him, which was going to be at 8 weeks, aka, ages away! After I hung up the phone, I received a phone call back from them telling me that my ob will be on holidays around my due date!! Noooooo! Worst. News. Ever! But, you know what, I would rather have him right up though my pregnancy than not at all, so I was always going to stick to still seeing him, I am sure whoever is next in line for him will be just as (almost) good.

Keeping my pregnancy a secret third time was so hard. I contemplated telling everyone really early but I knew it was best to keep it to immediate family until at least 8 weeks. And here we are at almost 19 weeks on and I am half way there (if not less than half way due to my caesarean) and I am officially excited and wish I could fast forward to November!

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