I have so much to say, I have so much running around in my mind that I want to talk to you about. It is all the kind of things that would inspire you or to believe in you or to remind you that you are awesome.
I have had a few emails recently thanking me for being real and honest and for portraying a positive body weight (must have been because of my Triumph shoot) and it made me realise that I need to remember that I have a voice and what I say is being heard and this platform that I work on is a way for me to help others. When I write, I write from personal experience, what happened in my day with the kids or what I am personally going though as a mum, a woman, as me.
In response to the lovely girl who told me about her battle with her weight and how hard it has been for her to feel good about herself until she saw how I was so confident to show my body, well you know what I did? I told her my story. It was only around 8 months ago when I was so worried about how skinny I was, “I shouldn’t be this skinny after two kids” I thought and it made me worry about my health. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. It made me anxious all the time. I tried so hard to put on the weight and when someone would remind me of how skinny I was, I would spiral back into an anxious mode and burn off more energy. I would have given anything to put on a few more kgs! It took me over a year to get back to a more ‘me’ weight and after going through that, I realised, it didn’t matter what size I was, as long as I have my health, it is all that matters. Never, will I complain about my weight big or small again.
Recently, as in recently this week, I have had heavy shoulders, so much going on and a lot of worry, worry about stupid things, things out of my control and often worrying about getting other peoples approval, expectations or thoughts about me. Then, the bigger, real world happens, yesterday morning, terrorism in Orlando, my worries, are so insignificant compared to loss of life, my worries- insignificant to the grieving families and country who would love to have my pity little worries compared to what they are going through or have lost.
Should we really be spending our time and burning our energy worrying about what others think of you? Your body size? what you wear? how good of a mum you are? or if you are going to disappoint someone or not, or how many followers you have (being valued by you instagram number is a whole other topic I can go on about!). So here is my punch line, stop sweating the small stuff, you are you, you are alive, you have health and people who love you, the rest is just material, extra stuff. As I write this, the tightness in my chest starts to ease, my shoulders slump and a smile come accorss my face as I picture my boys sound asleep, safe in their beds in the room next to me. How lucky I am! How lucky you are to be breathing in and out and know you can curl up into you bed later, ready to start fresh tomorrow.
You are awesome!
