So yesterday I was having a conversation with my bestie about pregnancy jealousy. You know, when someone you know or see on Instagram just announces they are pregnant with their second or third baby and you immediately wish it was you? You might not really REALLY want another baby, but for some reason, that tiny little voice in your heart (not your head, your head is looking at the school fees) says “You could go again!”.

My friend has two gorgeous little ones, a girl and a boy and her husband is DONEZO! I have three gorgeous little boys and MY husband is DONEZO. But is that really fair? Is it the husband’s decision to shut up shop? Isn’t it the women’s decision? I think what we are missing here, is that it is actually a mutual decision and as much as we want or don’t want something, what we really should be doing, is talking to our partners about it until we both are on the same page. I may or may not take my own advice, but I think these are wise words that I am typing right now, am I right?

I am completely happy with my three boys, it is only recently that the ‘girl’ thing is tapping back on my shoulder (I thought I was at peace with you Chloe! aka Coco for short) and a thought will trickle into my mind every now and then about being left alone in my 50’s while my friends are out shopping for bridal dresses with their daughters. But the different thing that I now know, compared to a few years ago, is that thoughts can be a powerful thing, but it is just that… a thought. Going through anxiety, I know that if you believe a thought, it will take you on a wild journey in your mind and imagination of situations that actually may never even happen. So, tonight, as I write this, I know deep down that me getting jealous about other people being pregnant, is NOT because I want to try for a girl, it is because, I miss that joyous time of pregnancy, knowing that in nine months time, I would be holding a tiny human that I created, the excitement, the anticipation and although tough most of the time, knowing how lucky I am to be growing a family.

I know lusting for ‘just one more‘ will pop up no matter how many children I have, and I suppose, this is life, just as I wish I could re-do my wedding day or study harder at high school, accepting these mile stones and looking ahead is the way to go. Acceptance is a good word for me to help me overcome my fear of ‘moving forward’.

Okay enough about that, so, Freddie is just under 15 months and this baby giant still baffles me by his size. No, I haven’t seen the health nurse to get him measured yet (shouldn’t they call me??) but he is seriously as big as a two year old.

He is still on and off walking, he is much better at walking when he has a ball in his hand for some crazy reason I cannot explain to you. I am yet to buy him some proper walking shoes, I am just holding back until he is walking a lot more (I know many have asked me what shoes he has, so stay tuned).

He still loves pasta, he will smash a massive bowl of pasta Napolitana and now with meatballs.

For breakfast I give him scrambled eggs, lunch either sushi or one of those bacon and cheese rolls from the bakery. He snacks on cheese, biscuits, fruit and thats really it and for dinner, I give him what we have and if he eats it, he eats it.

Freddie has been babbling some sentences of nonsense, but he looks at me when he does it as if I know what he is saying. He has this serious face and he says a few thing and waits for me to respond, it is hilarious but it usually happens in the bath and I don’t really love the idea of sharing that on my IG stories too much, I will try and catch him when he is fully clothed. His proper words are still just “mama” and “go” and “ta”.

He is sleeping beautifully! I did have to do a lot of re-settling recently as I think he was unwell, which usually takes 10 whole days to get him back into the proper night sleeping, if, when he was sick, I put him in bed with me. He also had a random temperature the other day and cried for a long time at night in which I thought his 2yo molars were cutting. He slept through the following night so that was very lucky. If you are thinking about getting a sleep consultant, then do it. One regret I had in the last 15 months is not acting on it sooner.

He now nap’s once in the day which is soooo amazing because now that school is back, I don’t have to wake him on either end of pick up or drop off! Wooohoooo! So the way I was taught to transition him from 2 naps to one is to push him out ten minutes each morning nap, day by day until he reaches 11/11:30 and then he should be used to it and then days after he would be able to be awake 5ish hours from wake time in the morning to then go down at 11:45am each day and nap until 2pm. None of my other boys slept in the day as well as Freddie does! This is gold!!!

Freddie loves to be outside, he is like a puppy dog waiting at the door ready to be released into the wild. I just wish he was walking properly so his poor knees don’t get scuffed.

Freddie can crawl up and down our stairs now, which is great!

Tomorrow I will turn his car seat around so he faces forwards, I am very excited for this so I can actually see him and so Aston and Will don’t have to crawl under his chair to get in and out the car anymore (they both enter the car curb side for safety).

Well, I think that is about it. As for me? I am pretty good! I have started pilates at Studio Pilates, which has been soooo good It is more like a ‘work out’ than regular pilates and I have recruited a bunch of school mums to come. I was thinking, if any of you are local and would be interested in coming to be motivated to start, let me know on my instagram page, I could organise something… just a thought. Or if you want me to do any workshops on dressing for post-body baby, preggo etc, let me know these are things I have thought about for 2019 but I always get worried people wouldn’t turn up! haha!

Ok enough from me- stay in touch over on IG! I spend all night replying to you on my DM’s and its great to hear from you xx

Freddies routine:

Wake between 6am-7am
Snack/pre lunch (10:30-11:15)
11:45 nap
2pm Wake
5pm Dinner
Bed between 6:30 and 7pm (calculated 5 hours from when he woke from nap)