Let me start by telling you that this is a blog post I wrote a little while ago for THE MUMMY CONFIDENTIALS, a blog I shared with my aunty Helen, but due to WWKD being as busy as ever, we pulled away from TMC and Helen shares mummy-hood through her @themummyconfidentials instagram page please follow her! So, I warn the fashion girl who is yet to push out a human that this blog post is raw and real and if you are not into the baby talk, then please, enjoy the pretty outfit above in which I am wearing SIYONA COUTURE, check out her amazing pieces and I will see you back here in a day or two. For the people who want to hear my birth story, read on.


I have two completely different birth stories to share as the first with Aston was el’natural (well, vaginal) and the second with Will was a caesarean. I think it is impotant to hear other bith stories so those yet to go through it have some what of an idea of what happens. The number one question I had after my second birth was, which child birth experience I preferred? I will tell you the answer next week when I share my second birth story.

I woke up needing to poo. It was 5am and as I sat on the toilet, my sleep deprived husband who was fed up with a tossing and turning 40 week pregnant wife got up went to the kitchen and popped himself a sleeping tablet. He walked back to bed before I had the chance to say, I think I might be in early labour. As you do, I had my iphone with me on the loo and I sent Helen a text message as I knew she would be awake with her early risers (her kids always wake at 5am).

ME: Think I am in labour, I am doing a poo.

HELEN: What? OMG, yes you probably are, have you had pains? Is Josh awake?

ME: He just took a sleeping tablet, I have no chance of waking him. I will just jump in the shower and do my hair just incase.

So, I jumped in the shower and then blow waved my hair, potentially the last one in a long time and the last as a non-mum. Josh woke at about 8am to me sitting on the bed starring at him (creepy style, could you imagine waking up to someone perched on the bed staring at you? I’m such a freak). By now I started to have an on and off slight period pain

“ I think I am in labour” I said.

“Yikes” he replied.

Yikes alright, no turning back now, this baby has only one way out and it aint pretty. The period pain feeling came on and off every 10 minutes or so and lasted about 40-60 seconds, quite mild but it was there. I called the hospital at 9am and told them what I was feeling and about the random poo and they confirmed I was in labour and to take a panadol and go back to bed, come in if we want but just hang out at home until it gets worse. What? Ok, ummm good night folks, just going to pop a panadol and take a kip! Not! This is the biggest day of my life and hey want me to pretend like it isn’t happening? (now who is the freak?). We drove to the hospital anyways to get checked. I was only about 2cms dialated and the pain was mild. We decided to go back home and ride it out there.

By 11am the tens machine was out and I was feeling the full force of the contractions. For those of you who haven’t felt contractions before, it feels like period pain x100 and for me it was bareable with the tens machine and grabbing onto Josh, digging my head into his chest and breathing through the 30-40seconds of hell and then it stops, just like that and you are back to normal, like nothing even happened. Mum rushed over and was just another support person, making us food, cleaning and folding clothes while I was doing whatever between my 6-8 minutes of no pain. At 12pm the pain was next level and I thought I would try having a shower, I heard that hot water could help with the pain. I got nude after a contraction, took the tens machine off and got in the shower. I felt worse in that suffocating sauna box, mum snuck in and took a photo of me, a photo of me!! AND! I recently discovered she was filming me and sent it to her sisters! Sorry mum but this is not the time for a happy snap for the baby album, MY baby album!

It was hospital time, I had gone through the worst of the worst contraction that I knew I needed pain relief options. Two contractions in the car ride to the hospital and one as we entered the building, I was checked in with no escape and was escorted to the labour ward (this is it, don’t get scared now! I was thinking aka Home Alone). I walked into a sterile room with a hospital bed, tv, baby station thingy with a heater and a private bathroom. I starred at that baby station thingy, I couldn’t comprehend that the bump was going to turn into a baby that will be placed onto that in the coming hours, this shit got real. The midwives suggested I try a shower (please no, anything but the shower!!) I got into the shower and I made sure they ushered mum out of the room as I didn’t want another paparazzi moment and I had just busted her letting Helen hear me during a contraction on her phone (gah!).

I had a huge contraction, my ‘show’ finally came and in that moment I said “ I need drugs”. I must add that I didn’t say a word this entire time in labour, until I had a shot of pethidine, you just couldn’t shut me up! It didn’t take away the pain just spaced me out in the head like I was high. The next thing I knew, water on the floor and I yelped “ I need to push!!!” The baby was down, I needed to push it out, before I knew it I was on all fours, Josh was watching the preliminary footy finals on the TV and my obstetrician arrived with alcohol on his breath. I was turned around to give birth on my back, which I thought wasn’t the way it was done these days, I thought I would be on all fours, rocking on a fit ball, all zen like you know? but I was not in the state of mind to talk let alone complain. With both legs on each of the two midwives shoulders and the ob between the goal posts, I was pushing. All I could think about was, am I going to be OK, will I poo and if so will a midwife scrunch up her nose and give me a greasy, will someone turn off that darn TV so my husband can continue patting my forehead down with a wet cloth and please don’t use those scissors! After an hour of pushing, a snip, several stitches and Hawthorn winning the game, I pushed out a 7.6lb baby boy.


They put this foreign object, slimy little human on my chest and I said “now what do I do?” I was in shock, pain and confused. I didn’t love him immediately after what I had gone through, I just held him, all possum eyed and uncomfortable. Whilst my baby, Aston, was getting checked, I birthed my placenta and the ob was stitching me up, I called Helen first:

“I had a boy, Aston.”

“I am coming!” she said.

Mum was waiting in the waiting room, I am surprised she wasn’t scratching on the door like a cat wanting to come in. They let her in and before I knew it and before I had even showered, my labour suite was party central with gate crashers: my parent in laws, sister in laws, aunty, my mum, midwives, my obstetrician smelling like he just got back from a Sunday sesh, Josh, a new baby and a partridge in a pear tree and I hadn’t even loved this baby yet. To finish off, I did love this baby once the shock went away and we were alone in our room. My episiotomy got infected which resulted in antibiotics and even more pain and to this day I wonder about a few things, 1: was my ob drunk and maybe that is the reason for my infection, 2: if I had an epidural, would I have loved my baby immediately and 3: whatever happened to those photos of me in labour?


Love to hear about anything funny that happened during your labour in the comments below xx