Tomorrow I will be a mother of three children. Yep, you heard right, tomorrow! My date has been moved forward and sh*t is real! This all happened so fast and I have spent the last few days cancelling and moving appointments and jobs and re-doing my ‘who has the kids’ schedule.
I am scared, my world as I know it will be turned upside down and will be different forever. The juggle that I finally figured out, you know the work, life, kid juggle? Well, I just made it work for myself and my family. I get three days alone at home to work and two-week days with just me and Will. When I have another child, I won’t have an alone day for a very long time. How will I get work done? How will I keep my finally-clean-house clean? I made a rule not long ago that no toys can come down into the living area, and since then, my house is more in order and I can really get on top of things. Can we talk about the washing situation? How many loads will I do each day if I already do at least one-two per day now?
I am scared.
I am scared of the change, I am scared of three sick kids at once, I am scared of forgetting to send Aston to school without lunch or an important thing he has to work on for school. I am scared that I will spend some days crying and feeling overwhelmed by life and not being able to keep up with my work, my blog, Instagram, life in general. Will I start to hate seeing everyone be social on my Instagram feed? Will I be able to function at all in the day time and give my two boys the love and attention they deserve?
I am excited to meet this little human I created. I am excited to love another child and see its face for the first time. I am excited to hear it cry as it enters the world and takes it first breath and I cant wait to be in awe of its face that was made with the love that is between myself and my husband. We are so lucky. I am excited for Aston and Will to meet the baby and I am excited to bring it home and get on with life. I am excited to enjoy the newborn bubble because I truly believe it will be my last newborn experience. Becoming a family of five makes me feel so happy, proud and with lots to look forward to in the future. I can’t wait for the milestones with this baby and to hear the words ‘mummy’ for the first time.
Tomorrow, my life will change and I know it is for the better. Tomorrow, we will be given a gift that we decided we wanted well over a year ago, a gift that will keep on giving to me and Josh for the rest of our lives.